"To believe is to commit." Oswald Chambers
I watched the Michigan-Illinois game on Saturday with a strange sense of detachment. I don't think I've ever watched a Michigan game feeling like that. Maybe the 2007 Minnesota game. I fully expected us to lose at every point in the game--after we scored a touchdown on the first play, after we went ahead by a touchdown in the second quarter, after we went ahead by a touchdown in the second quarter, after we made the final two-point conversion in triple overtime. I was happy when we won, but not as happy as usual.
At the risk of sounding emo, hope is something I've tended to shun. For whatever reason, my tendency is to believe that hoping for something that doesn't happen is just about the worst possible result. In other words, better to set the expectations low and be pleasantly surprised, and it's still okay if the result isn't great. At least you didn't hope.
That also means I get to be above it all, so to speak. When your expectations can't really go lower, then you can't be taken by surprise in a negative way. So I've figured it out! Disappointment is something I'll never have to experience. Cheesy motivational quotes and unfounded optimism are for the suckers; they played the lottery and lost, and now I have my dollar still to wave in their faces. It's not much, but it's something.
So even though I'm a die-hard Michigan fan, my investment in the Illinois game had to be small. (College football is one of the few areas in which I actually am willing to put my emotions on the line.) And in plenty of other areas in my life--as I'm sure several of you know--I insist on low to no expectations.
Is it wrong to be that resigned about various things? Part of me still wants to embody that Rudyard Kipling poem, "If," or the quote by Teddy Roosevelt about the man in the arena. (Forget the cheesy quote stuff.) But there's always the issue of failure out there. It's hard to get over the fact of failure, the possibility of it. If you tried and failed, was it really worth it to have tried. It's difficult to come up with an answer for that question other than "no."
On the other hand, maybe being one of the suckers isn't so bad. I suppose you at least know you have company.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Stories and Endings
"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, 'Never try.'" --Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
This is going to be brief. I wanted to jot this down somewhere, and this is as good a place as any! I realized the other day how much I like to sort the things that happen in life like it's a story. This probably is not entirely unique to me. But so often, the focus of that sorting process is finding out what happens at the end. But I don't do this in any other similar context! For example, I don't like it that much when somebody sitting next to me watching a movie or show says, "Ohhhhh, I figured it out. It was so-and-so." And then they're right. I'm watching because I want to be surprised; if I'm not surprised, it's hard to be interested in the rest of the story. It's the promise of the ending, not the ending itself, that keeps you in your seat.
So why do I keep trying to figure out what the ending is, when there's a perfectly good story playing out in front of me?
This is going to be brief. I wanted to jot this down somewhere, and this is as good a place as any! I realized the other day how much I like to sort the things that happen in life like it's a story. This probably is not entirely unique to me. But so often, the focus of that sorting process is finding out what happens at the end. But I don't do this in any other similar context! For example, I don't like it that much when somebody sitting next to me watching a movie or show says, "Ohhhhh, I figured it out. It was so-and-so." And then they're right. I'm watching because I want to be surprised; if I'm not surprised, it's hard to be interested in the rest of the story. It's the promise of the ending, not the ending itself, that keeps you in your seat.
So why do I keep trying to figure out what the ending is, when there's a perfectly good story playing out in front of me?
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Stories: The Plan
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." -- Groucho Marx
For the next few days or over the next week, I'm going to sketch out some of the stories I often tell. Since I'm in the middle of grading papers (whoo let's learn us some ENGLISH PLZ), I am going to talk about The Plan instead of my tense relationship with my, er, place I was for four years and left with a degree. You know; that...place. But yes, The Plan. This Plan is as controversial as it is hilariously controversial. That's why I chose it.
Best to start with some background. I like to tease people who are in relationships, and especially people who are otherwise serious. It's one of the joys of being single, and such joys must be appreciated while they last. One day Pastor Pete was carrying something for his then-fiancee Gina, and I was duly needling her about this. She informed me that I would be doing something similar one day, to which I politely responded that hecks no. Some people may try to fill up their empty lives with a relationship, but I'm more than happy with Michigan football (graaaahhh) and Pizza House pizza, thank you. From the ensuing exchange, needless to say, a little wager arose. If I am still single by the age of thirty-five, then Gina will buy me pizza from Pizza House.
Now, you never make a bet with someone that hinges entirely on their decision. Just a little advice.
When I mentioned this to several other people, similar wagers were made. My friend Susan is buying me Pizza House pizza at age 30, Gloria at age 40, and (I think) Sam at age 45. Now, this set me to thinking even more. I've always said that if I don't die early, I haven't eaten the way I really want to eat. So the Pizza House wagers made me decide it might be best if I aimed at dying of a heart attack at age 48. There's no history of heart disease in my family, really, so this would be a pretty big accomplishment. But I have no lack of ambition.
I recently added Jiyeon to the list of people buying me Pizza House (age 32.5). There was another recent modification, too: for the sake of awesomeness, if somehow the heart attack thing doesn't seem likely when the time is drawing nigh, I'm going to attempt to become the first person to fly across the Pacific in an ultralight aircraft. The advantages to this are that, if it works, holy dang. Awesome. If, as seems likely, I perish along the way, then there's no need for a whole expensive coffin, burial, etc.
There is an addendum. If, somehow, I do get married and leave an heir (which good luck with that, world), then I'm naming him Nancy Boy. I am doing this on the "Boy Named Sue" Principle, which is that boys with girlie names will grow up tough with all the teasing they will undoubtedly receive. Ultimately, such a son would probably end up playing NFL ball and supporting me in my old age, assuming he doesn't avenge himself on me first. Some things must be left to luck, after all. This also means that, if I get married, I shall have to get married to someone who is about 5'7"...someone who, although not necessarily taller than me, has or would likely have large, athletic brothers.
So there it is: a future all planned out and almost perfectly crafted to elicit amusing responses from those who hear it. A final note: When asked, "But what will you do?" the only possible answer is, "Not being married? Probably whatever I want." Discuss.
For the next few days or over the next week, I'm going to sketch out some of the stories I often tell. Since I'm in the middle of grading papers (whoo let's learn us some ENGLISH PLZ), I am going to talk about The Plan instead of my tense relationship with my, er, place I was for four years and left with a degree. You know; that...place. But yes, The Plan. This Plan is as controversial as it is hilariously controversial. That's why I chose it.
Best to start with some background. I like to tease people who are in relationships, and especially people who are otherwise serious. It's one of the joys of being single, and such joys must be appreciated while they last. One day Pastor Pete was carrying something for his then-fiancee Gina, and I was duly needling her about this. She informed me that I would be doing something similar one day, to which I politely responded that hecks no. Some people may try to fill up their empty lives with a relationship, but I'm more than happy with Michigan football (graaaahhh) and Pizza House pizza, thank you. From the ensuing exchange, needless to say, a little wager arose. If I am still single by the age of thirty-five, then Gina will buy me pizza from Pizza House.
Now, you never make a bet with someone that hinges entirely on their decision. Just a little advice.
When I mentioned this to several other people, similar wagers were made. My friend Susan is buying me Pizza House pizza at age 30, Gloria at age 40, and (I think) Sam at age 45. Now, this set me to thinking even more. I've always said that if I don't die early, I haven't eaten the way I really want to eat. So the Pizza House wagers made me decide it might be best if I aimed at dying of a heart attack at age 48. There's no history of heart disease in my family, really, so this would be a pretty big accomplishment. But I have no lack of ambition.
I recently added Jiyeon to the list of people buying me Pizza House (age 32.5). There was another recent modification, too: for the sake of awesomeness, if somehow the heart attack thing doesn't seem likely when the time is drawing nigh, I'm going to attempt to become the first person to fly across the Pacific in an ultralight aircraft. The advantages to this are that, if it works, holy dang. Awesome. If, as seems likely, I perish along the way, then there's no need for a whole expensive coffin, burial, etc.
There is an addendum. If, somehow, I do get married and leave an heir (which good luck with that, world), then I'm naming him Nancy Boy. I am doing this on the "Boy Named Sue" Principle, which is that boys with girlie names will grow up tough with all the teasing they will undoubtedly receive. Ultimately, such a son would probably end up playing NFL ball and supporting me in my old age, assuming he doesn't avenge himself on me first. Some things must be left to luck, after all. This also means that, if I get married, I shall have to get married to someone who is about 5'7"...someone who, although not necessarily taller than me, has or would likely have large, athletic brothers.
So there it is: a future all planned out and almost perfectly crafted to elicit amusing responses from those who hear it. A final note: When asked, "But what will you do?" the only possible answer is, "Not being married? Probably whatever I want." Discuss.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Nostalgia
"Why, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, do you want to ruin--wait a second. Who's the girl?" -- Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
It is my belief that, as a person, I am more prone to nostalgia than most. When I drive back to Newaygo, I often take a longer route--I-96 to the East Beltline to 10 Mile to Algoma--just to pass by all the places I used to go with people when I used to be there more often. There were the late nights at the IHOP near Celebration Cinema, the two trips to Dunhill to get fitted for and then pick up my tuxedo with Andrew when he got married. The aforementioned Celebration Cinema was where I saw all three Lord of the Rings movies; for the last one, my friends spent two straight weeks convincing me to join them in dressing up for it (guh), and when I went as Gandalf people there actually asked me to take pictures with them. Turning from the Beltline onto 10 Mile takes me within sight of Jody's, where I went and hung out with church friends all the time. Just a short walk from that is where the D&W used to be when I was five and we still lived in Rockford.
So many of those friends that I spent my formative years with are gone now. A few are still around. Not many. And it would be impossible, I know, to go back to some of those places without feeling the slight heartache of missing not only people, but times together. Or just times, period; I still remember pacing around the wooden deck behind Frenz Coffee House, memorizing my toast on the morning of Andrew's wedding.
That's what nostalgia is; it comes from the Greek words nostos, meaning a homeward journey, and algos, meaning pain.
Of course, I don't want to go back to those times. They're completely idealized, or even romanticized, for me now, but then, too, there was always something to worry about. I started thinking about this because I was feeling that nostalgia, thinking about what it would be like to go back to those places without those people and situations. But how often do I think about the future: what it would be like to go to some of those old places with a new person or new people and be able to share with them some of the things that made me who I am? I know the places in Ann Arbor that are going to be like that for me; what if there are some here that I don't know about yet? What are the places that are going to be like that for me wherever I live next?
Nostalgia is good, but optimism is better :)
It is my belief that, as a person, I am more prone to nostalgia than most. When I drive back to Newaygo, I often take a longer route--I-96 to the East Beltline to 10 Mile to Algoma--just to pass by all the places I used to go with people when I used to be there more often. There were the late nights at the IHOP near Celebration Cinema, the two trips to Dunhill to get fitted for and then pick up my tuxedo with Andrew when he got married. The aforementioned Celebration Cinema was where I saw all three Lord of the Rings movies; for the last one, my friends spent two straight weeks convincing me to join them in dressing up for it (guh), and when I went as Gandalf people there actually asked me to take pictures with them. Turning from the Beltline onto 10 Mile takes me within sight of Jody's, where I went and hung out with church friends all the time. Just a short walk from that is where the D&W used to be when I was five and we still lived in Rockford.
So many of those friends that I spent my formative years with are gone now. A few are still around. Not many. And it would be impossible, I know, to go back to some of those places without feeling the slight heartache of missing not only people, but times together. Or just times, period; I still remember pacing around the wooden deck behind Frenz Coffee House, memorizing my toast on the morning of Andrew's wedding.
That's what nostalgia is; it comes from the Greek words nostos, meaning a homeward journey, and algos, meaning pain.
Of course, I don't want to go back to those times. They're completely idealized, or even romanticized, for me now, but then, too, there was always something to worry about. I started thinking about this because I was feeling that nostalgia, thinking about what it would be like to go back to those places without those people and situations. But how often do I think about the future: what it would be like to go to some of those old places with a new person or new people and be able to share with them some of the things that made me who I am? I know the places in Ann Arbor that are going to be like that for me; what if there are some here that I don't know about yet? What are the places that are going to be like that for me wherever I live next?
Nostalgia is good, but optimism is better :)
Sunday, October 17, 2010
I've Been Thinkin', Overthinkin'
"In the same winter the Athenians resolved to sail again against Sicily with larger forces than those which Laches and Eurymedon had commanded, and, if possible, to conquer it. They were for the most part ignorant of the size of the island and of the numbers of its inhabitants, both Hellenic and native, and they did not realize that they were taking on a war of almost the same magnitude as their war against the Peloponnesians." -- Thucydides, History of the Peloponnesian War Book XI, chapter 1
"This was the greatest Hellenic action that took place during this war, and, in my opinion, the greatest action that we know of in Hellenic history--to the victors the most brilliant of successes, to the vanquished the most calamitous of defeats; for they were utterly and entirely defeated; their sufferings were on an enormous scale; their losses were, as they say, total; army, navy, everything was destroyed, and, out of many, only few returned. So ended the events in Sicily." -- Thucydides, History of the Peloponnesian War Book XII, chapter 87
Okay, this blog entry's quote is very long, but I post it for two reasons. First, even though these quotes don't necessarily have anything to do with my thoughts, these do. Second, I just read this in preparation for the coming week of Classical Civilization 375.
The Athenians set out on their expedition to Sicily when they were in a fairly secure position, ignorant of the strength of the cities they were attacking and urged on by people interested mostly in their own glory. Even though I have little sympathy for the Athenians during the Peloponnesian War, this is still one of the more wrenching tales of loss in battle in classical antiquity. It took a decade or so, but the result of this massive failure was the conquest of Athens by Sparta and defeat in the war. According to Thucydides, though, the Athenians actually could have conquered Syracuse and succeeded in its goals. (The question of how profitable this would have been is one for a different day.)
Obviously, it's best to have good information, but that isn't always possible. So the question is this: Given a lack of information, do you wait for something conclusive? Do you proceed with a plan of action and believe at all times in the eventuality of success? For a child of God, does this question even make sense--that is, does faith in God in the particulars of our lives eliminate the need to think in this way? That last question, especially, interests me. In an important decision that could potentially change your life, and above all when it could affect someone else's life, do you wait for God to give you an absolute answer? How do you tell if you have an answer and your own scattered thoughts are clouding things?
Right now I'm not quite sure, but in the meantime I'm going to keep praying and keep thinking and keep seeking wise counsel.
"This was the greatest Hellenic action that took place during this war, and, in my opinion, the greatest action that we know of in Hellenic history--to the victors the most brilliant of successes, to the vanquished the most calamitous of defeats; for they were utterly and entirely defeated; their sufferings were on an enormous scale; their losses were, as they say, total; army, navy, everything was destroyed, and, out of many, only few returned. So ended the events in Sicily." -- Thucydides, History of the Peloponnesian War Book XII, chapter 87
Okay, this blog entry's quote is very long, but I post it for two reasons. First, even though these quotes don't necessarily have anything to do with my thoughts, these do. Second, I just read this in preparation for the coming week of Classical Civilization 375.
The Athenians set out on their expedition to Sicily when they were in a fairly secure position, ignorant of the strength of the cities they were attacking and urged on by people interested mostly in their own glory. Even though I have little sympathy for the Athenians during the Peloponnesian War, this is still one of the more wrenching tales of loss in battle in classical antiquity. It took a decade or so, but the result of this massive failure was the conquest of Athens by Sparta and defeat in the war. According to Thucydides, though, the Athenians actually could have conquered Syracuse and succeeded in its goals. (The question of how profitable this would have been is one for a different day.)
Obviously, it's best to have good information, but that isn't always possible. So the question is this: Given a lack of information, do you wait for something conclusive? Do you proceed with a plan of action and believe at all times in the eventuality of success? For a child of God, does this question even make sense--that is, does faith in God in the particulars of our lives eliminate the need to think in this way? That last question, especially, interests me. In an important decision that could potentially change your life, and above all when it could affect someone else's life, do you wait for God to give you an absolute answer? How do you tell if you have an answer and your own scattered thoughts are clouding things?
Right now I'm not quite sure, but in the meantime I'm going to keep praying and keep thinking and keep seeking wise counsel.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Free Time
"Don't give up because the pain is intense right now--get on with it, and before long you will find that you have a new vision and a new purpose." -- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
The Classic Civilization 375 students handed in their 5-page response papers on Monday. This is my first experience grading papers, and I'm a little anxious about it. There is the time issue, of course--I feel like this coming week will probably be consumed by reading 40-some often identical papers. But I also want to make sure that my grading is fair and informative so students understand how to move forward.
To help with that, Karen, the most experienced GSI of classic civilization, is going to meet with me/us (I don't know if the other GSI will be there) to go over some papers and discuss how we'd grade them. For that reason, I haven't graded any papers yet. And since I finished all my other work so I'd have plenty of time for grading this week, yesterday became, essentially, a day off.
And that's something I really haven't had. I went home to visit my family a few weekends ago, but that was still....going somewhere, doing something. Yesterday was just a day to do whatever I wanted. Naturally, I installed and messed around with Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind almost all day, haha. But I also realized how valuable it is to have things to do and take care of and to see the fruits of your labor. The fruits of yesterday's labor was that I made a lot of mistakes in a virtual world and wanted to start over with a new character. Not the same.
Ah well. Back to Morrowind until lecture...
The Classic Civilization 375 students handed in their 5-page response papers on Monday. This is my first experience grading papers, and I'm a little anxious about it. There is the time issue, of course--I feel like this coming week will probably be consumed by reading 40-some often identical papers. But I also want to make sure that my grading is fair and informative so students understand how to move forward.
To help with that, Karen, the most experienced GSI of classic civilization, is going to meet with me/us (I don't know if the other GSI will be there) to go over some papers and discuss how we'd grade them. For that reason, I haven't graded any papers yet. And since I finished all my other work so I'd have plenty of time for grading this week, yesterday became, essentially, a day off.
And that's something I really haven't had. I went home to visit my family a few weekends ago, but that was still....going somewhere, doing something. Yesterday was just a day to do whatever I wanted. Naturally, I installed and messed around with Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind almost all day, haha. But I also realized how valuable it is to have things to do and take care of and to see the fruits of your labor. The fruits of yesterday's labor was that I made a lot of mistakes in a virtual world and wanted to start over with a new character. Not the same.
Ah well. Back to Morrowind until lecture...
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Resumption of Blog; Thinking About the Future
"Women--can't live with 'em, can't effectively refute their hypotheses." -- Howard Wolowitz, Big Bang Theory
I kept this blog up pretty well when I was in Oklahoma, for a few reasons. One of them was also the reason I started the blog in the first place: I had a lot of friends I wasn't going to see for a while and who might be interested in what I'm up to, what's going on with me. When I got back to Ann Arbor, I tried to keep it up still, but it didn't really work out. A big part of that was that I felt like I was back with my friends again. But now I realize that I have a great many friends scattered all over the country (and world) who might want a way to catch up on what's going on with me. Maybe more importantly, I'll be leaving Ann Arbor, too, soon enough...and what if I want to catch up on myself once I've gotten a few years' distance?
Lately I've been thinking a lot about where I'm going to go, what I want to do. Of course, right? Grad student, last year in school...but it's actually fairly new for me. I just don't think about the "distant" future very often, because it seems so hard to plan for. And of course I still can't know where I'll be offered a job or what might open up. Still, various considerations are forcing me to think about the direction I'm going.
I love teaching, so I'm sure I want to do that. Increasingly, I'm also certain that I don't want to end up at a school that caters to...well, kids who would probably do well in life even if there were no schools in the area at all. I don't want to end up at a suburban high school with classrooms full of kids whose only big question is where they'll spend their college scholarships. Beyond that, there are several reasons why I don't want to teach in American public schools. First, I don't think I could accept the cushy contracts public school teachers get: enormous health benefits and pensions, tenure, etc. These contracts are bankrupting state governments. I oppose the effective public monopoly on the operation of schools, so I don't want to be part of the problem. And I want the kind of flexibility that only charter and private schools can bring.
As far as location is concerned, I'm also beginning to broaden my options. At one time, I really only wanted to teach in Michigan. Later, I figured I could deal with living in a place like D.C., New York, or some other urban center struggling with issues of poverty and poor education. But now, I think I'm more open just to being somewhere, anyway where there's an opportunity to bring both a quality education and Christ's love to people in desperate need--whether that's in this country or somewhere else in the world.
What do you guys think? Next semester it's looking like I'll be student teaching at Greenhills, which is not something I thought would happen. If it happens, that will be my first significant experience with a non-public school. I've always heard good things about it--I know Junia really enjoyed teaching there!--and hopefully it will be a good window into an alternative to the graduate factories that our public schools have too often become.
I'll continue to be in prayer about this, and I definitely plan on sharing here the answers as they come.
I kept this blog up pretty well when I was in Oklahoma, for a few reasons. One of them was also the reason I started the blog in the first place: I had a lot of friends I wasn't going to see for a while and who might be interested in what I'm up to, what's going on with me. When I got back to Ann Arbor, I tried to keep it up still, but it didn't really work out. A big part of that was that I felt like I was back with my friends again. But now I realize that I have a great many friends scattered all over the country (and world) who might want a way to catch up on what's going on with me. Maybe more importantly, I'll be leaving Ann Arbor, too, soon enough...and what if I want to catch up on myself once I've gotten a few years' distance?
Lately I've been thinking a lot about where I'm going to go, what I want to do. Of course, right? Grad student, last year in school...but it's actually fairly new for me. I just don't think about the "distant" future very often, because it seems so hard to plan for. And of course I still can't know where I'll be offered a job or what might open up. Still, various considerations are forcing me to think about the direction I'm going.
I love teaching, so I'm sure I want to do that. Increasingly, I'm also certain that I don't want to end up at a school that caters to...well, kids who would probably do well in life even if there were no schools in the area at all. I don't want to end up at a suburban high school with classrooms full of kids whose only big question is where they'll spend their college scholarships. Beyond that, there are several reasons why I don't want to teach in American public schools. First, I don't think I could accept the cushy contracts public school teachers get: enormous health benefits and pensions, tenure, etc. These contracts are bankrupting state governments. I oppose the effective public monopoly on the operation of schools, so I don't want to be part of the problem. And I want the kind of flexibility that only charter and private schools can bring.
As far as location is concerned, I'm also beginning to broaden my options. At one time, I really only wanted to teach in Michigan. Later, I figured I could deal with living in a place like D.C., New York, or some other urban center struggling with issues of poverty and poor education. But now, I think I'm more open just to being somewhere, anyway where there's an opportunity to bring both a quality education and Christ's love to people in desperate need--whether that's in this country or somewhere else in the world.
What do you guys think? Next semester it's looking like I'll be student teaching at Greenhills, which is not something I thought would happen. If it happens, that will be my first significant experience with a non-public school. I've always heard good things about it--I know Junia really enjoyed teaching there!--and hopefully it will be a good window into an alternative to the graduate factories that our public schools have too often become.
I'll continue to be in prayer about this, and I definitely plan on sharing here the answers as they come.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Settling or Stretching
Okay, time to restart this blog. Seriously this time. Maybe.
Today was the first day of the new semester, but I didn't have anything, so I was at home the whole time. Cleaned up the room, got myself organized a bit, cleaned out the inbox. Those things were nice to get out of the way.
But there are still two things really nagging at me. First, there's so much I don't know about this semester still. I've never done discussion sections before, so I have to figure out how to do this twice a week. Each week I'm required to do six hours of classroom observation at a high school or middle school, but I haven't been told yet what my hours for that are or where I'll be doing them. That means I can't put a definitive time on my office hours for the sections I'm leading or on my office hours for being this semester's grad student mentor for elementary Latin GSIs. I don't even know where my office hours will be. So there's a lot about my schedule that I don't know.
Second, I have a lot of long-term decisions and transitions to make, and just generally things on the horizon. I still have to take the MTTC in economics, which makes me nervous because I haven't taken an econ course in a few years now. I have to take the Latin translation exam, about which I'm less nervous...but there are still a few gaping holes in my Latin reading experience that I need to fill. I'll be student teaching in the Winter, and that's new and a little nerve-wracking. And then, of course, I'll cease to be a student (probably) forever on May 1, 2011. Two hundred thirty-six days away. Most people seem to be glad to have school over with for good, but it's something I'm used to and I've always been good at.
I really enjoy my security--knowing what's coming, when, and how to handle it. My modus operandi has usually been to pursue what is comfortable and familiar, and not stray too far from that. But more and more I'm coming to realize what a big area of my life I'm holding back from God. When I'm not submitting that stuff to Him, I can't even see the ways that I'm losing out on serving Him. God's been really exposing that in my life, and even though I think I'm in for a terrifying ride this year, it's great to know that God won't let me settle for less than His best.
Today was the first day of the new semester, but I didn't have anything, so I was at home the whole time. Cleaned up the room, got myself organized a bit, cleaned out the inbox. Those things were nice to get out of the way.
But there are still two things really nagging at me. First, there's so much I don't know about this semester still. I've never done discussion sections before, so I have to figure out how to do this twice a week. Each week I'm required to do six hours of classroom observation at a high school or middle school, but I haven't been told yet what my hours for that are or where I'll be doing them. That means I can't put a definitive time on my office hours for the sections I'm leading or on my office hours for being this semester's grad student mentor for elementary Latin GSIs. I don't even know where my office hours will be. So there's a lot about my schedule that I don't know.
Second, I have a lot of long-term decisions and transitions to make, and just generally things on the horizon. I still have to take the MTTC in economics, which makes me nervous because I haven't taken an econ course in a few years now. I have to take the Latin translation exam, about which I'm less nervous...but there are still a few gaping holes in my Latin reading experience that I need to fill. I'll be student teaching in the Winter, and that's new and a little nerve-wracking. And then, of course, I'll cease to be a student (probably) forever on May 1, 2011. Two hundred thirty-six days away. Most people seem to be glad to have school over with for good, but it's something I'm used to and I've always been good at.
I really enjoy my security--knowing what's coming, when, and how to handle it. My modus operandi has usually been to pursue what is comfortable and familiar, and not stray too far from that. But more and more I'm coming to realize what a big area of my life I'm holding back from God. When I'm not submitting that stuff to Him, I can't even see the ways that I'm losing out on serving Him. God's been really exposing that in my life, and even though I think I'm in for a terrifying ride this year, it's great to know that God won't let me settle for less than His best.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Bad Dreams and Bad Writers
For whatever reason, I've been having a lot of strange dreams lately, usually of the terrifying variety. Well, they don't terrify me, but they should be terrifying--vampires, werewolves, etc., and not the silly kind from recent movies and books. They're notionally terrifying. But last night was the worst of all. I dreamt that Michigan's football team lost to Connecticut, and then, despite the fact that in real life we play Notre Dame the following week, we lost to a MAC team. How do I go back to the supernatural mass murderers? Eleven days remain...
I wonder if the paranormal serial killers in my dreams are symbolic of the approaching storm of classes, deadlines, school observation, and eventually student teaching that makes me wish I were back in ED 402: Reading and Wrinngsdf Zzzzzzzz. Maybe I should get some of that work done. Alternatively, though, I could use some of my Best Buy store credit and buy Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, Game of the Year Edition for twenty bucks. Ah, sweet time-wasting classic RPG goodness. Now I wonder if any future employers are going to be reading this. Hmm.
In literary news, the (former?) head of the IPCC, Rajendra Pachauri, wrote a book. Whether or not it is supposed to be autobiographical escapes my mind, but it's fiction. Walter Russell Mead, one of the few interesting thinkers and good writers left in political writing, purchased and read a copy. His review confirms for me everything I ever thought about Dr. Pachauri, and about his fellow international elites. Here are a few quotes from Mead's column (which you should read in its entirety):
I wonder if the paranormal serial killers in my dreams are symbolic of the approaching storm of classes, deadlines, school observation, and eventually student teaching that makes me wish I were back in ED 402: Reading and Wrinngsdf Zzzzzzzz. Maybe I should get some of that work done. Alternatively, though, I could use some of my Best Buy store credit and buy Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, Game of the Year Edition for twenty bucks. Ah, sweet time-wasting classic RPG goodness. Now I wonder if any future employers are going to be reading this. Hmm.
In literary news, the (former?) head of the IPCC, Rajendra Pachauri, wrote a book. Whether or not it is supposed to be autobiographical escapes my mind, but it's fiction. Walter Russell Mead, one of the few interesting thinkers and good writers left in political writing, purchased and read a copy. His review confirms for me everything I ever thought about Dr. Pachauri, and about his fellow international elites. Here are a few quotes from Mead's column (which you should read in its entirety):
The intellectual vapidity and narcissistic self satisfaction of the book is unsurpassable. Politics, science, religion: characters spout the most shopworn cliches in the apparent belief that they are uttering profound truths.
...The most troubling possibility, however, is that Pachauri doesn’t criticize or undercut Sanjay in the novel because he doesn’t recognize Sanjay for what he is. Some reviewers have spoken of Sanjay as an idealized version of Pachauri: this is Rajendra Pachauri as he would like to be and Rajendra Pachauri’s Sanjay is his portrait of a hero.
This is a truly chilling thought — that the global environmental movement might have accepted someone whose ideas and culture are this vapid and banal into its leadership.
...
Although it remains unclear whether Pachauri is the Sinclair Lewis or the Babbit of this story, the satirist or the unintentional and unknowing butt, Return to Almora is a vicious and deflating portrait of international civil society and the Great and the Good. Vapid and unthinkingly fashionable intellectuals and activists drift in and out of international conferences and fancy hotels, propelled on gassy clouds of consensus, chattering like the characters in Cole Porter’s “Well, Did You Evah.” Professors, business people and officials swirl pointlessly around one another, feeling good about themselves while getting little or nothing done. There is a great deal of compassion for the poor, but nobody breaks a nail.
This sort of thing never fails to remind me of M. Night Shyamalan's disgustingly self-serving opus, Lady in the Water. The bad guy is a film critic, the writer/director himself plays the author whose book will inspire a sort of messianic politician. (Is "messianic politician" the oxymoron at the heart of the Left?)
Many classicists firmly believe that Cicero's rhetorical, philosophical, and epistolary writings reveal him as an egotistical gasbag. I've always been skeptical of that, because it seems unlikely that anyone that prolific and obviously intelligent would have the necessary lack of self-awareness to lay himself open to such an attack. Rather, it has always seemed to me that such criticisms come from a combination of cultural distance and disdain for that aristocratic, conservative defender of the old republic, which most classicists see as having been doomed, not worth saving. It is movies like Lady in the Water, and books like Return to Almora, that make me seriously think I might be wrong about all of that.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Gibbon and Scholarly Prose Style; Also, Running
My head hurts like no other today; I wonder if I've been drinking enough water? It could also be too much watching a computer screen, but at least today I have a much better excuse than usual: proof-reading a 58-page paper for two hours straight.
That proof-reading was actually pretty interesting, in part because I've also been reading Edward Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. This is not a slight against the paper I was helping with or against its author; the paper just contained a lot of quotes from other academic writings. The contrast is fascinating. Gibbon's remarkable breadth of knowledge is what makes his work valuable even now, after more than two hundred years, but his prose style is part of what makes his master work such a joy to read. His passion for the subject matter, his strongly held opinions about various questions within the field, and his great ability to organize facts and details into a larger, fascinating narrative are on display on every page. Unfortunately, most modern scholarly works are dull: composed in a language seemingly intended to shut out all but a handful of specialists, removed from any sense of enthusiasm or of meaning in the real world. Modern scholars may know the ingredients, but that does not mean they know how to cook.
Speaking of enjoying food a lot, I went running today. (Nailed that segue!) I expected it to be arduous, as the temperature and humidity have remained about the same and I know I haven't gotten enough sleep lately. But my expectations were thwarted; I was able to run one of my just-over-a-mile routes in about eight minutes and a quarter. In the interest of adding perspective, I used to be able to run a mile in six minutes, seven seconds, and I used to be able to run three consecutive miles in seven and a half minutes each. Even so, I was both proud of myself and reminded to add a new factor to my records: how many days of rest I've taken in between running. That factor shouldn't matter too much as I begin to run five days a week--I'm planning on taking Wednesday and Sunday as regular rest days to let my body recover--but for now I can see a good correlation between days since running and average speed. To sum up, I was pleasantly surprised by today's run.
That proof-reading was actually pretty interesting, in part because I've also been reading Edward Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. This is not a slight against the paper I was helping with or against its author; the paper just contained a lot of quotes from other academic writings. The contrast is fascinating. Gibbon's remarkable breadth of knowledge is what makes his work valuable even now, after more than two hundred years, but his prose style is part of what makes his master work such a joy to read. His passion for the subject matter, his strongly held opinions about various questions within the field, and his great ability to organize facts and details into a larger, fascinating narrative are on display on every page. Unfortunately, most modern scholarly works are dull: composed in a language seemingly intended to shut out all but a handful of specialists, removed from any sense of enthusiasm or of meaning in the real world. Modern scholars may know the ingredients, but that does not mean they know how to cook.
Speaking of enjoying food a lot, I went running today. (Nailed that segue!) I expected it to be arduous, as the temperature and humidity have remained about the same and I know I haven't gotten enough sleep lately. But my expectations were thwarted; I was able to run one of my just-over-a-mile routes in about eight minutes and a quarter. In the interest of adding perspective, I used to be able to run a mile in six minutes, seven seconds, and I used to be able to run three consecutive miles in seven and a half minutes each. Even so, I was both proud of myself and reminded to add a new factor to my records: how many days of rest I've taken in between running. That factor shouldn't matter too much as I begin to run five days a week--I'm planning on taking Wednesday and Sunday as regular rest days to let my body recover--but for now I can see a good correlation between days since running and average speed. To sum up, I was pleasantly surprised by today's run.
Monday, August 16, 2010
It's...
Monty Python's Flying just kidding it's my blog, back again.
I intended only to blog during the summer while I was gone, but then lots of other people who were also doing summer blogs are keeping theirs around and are still posting interesting things. Maybe I, too, can be interesting. Probably not, but it's worth a try. The conflict is really that the blog is too public to be a serious journal of my thoughts, but it also takes enough of my time that keeping a for-real journal is a bit too much. I guess I'll just combine this with having accountability? But that's cheating, since I should have accountability anyway...whatever.
The Computer Showcase downstairs in the Union is an amazing place, let me tell you. I took my computer there to try to get my computer healed of its paralyzing virus; this they did for free, in 10-15 minutes, while talking to me about Michigan hockey. Amazing. They were also selling printers for $25, and I think I'm going to go back tomorrow and purchase one. This will save me some inconvenient trips to Angell Hall to print things for, say, Building Blocks.
The first of the new roommates moved in today, which meant I also met him for the first time. His stuff had been trickling in, but always at times when I was gone. He's pretty interesting; he gave me his copies of Dante's Inferno (original Italian next to the English translation) and The Portable Kipling, and he brought with him an enormous collection of legitimately purchased DVDs and a Go board. It seems like he should fit right in with a Burkean classicist with authorial aspirations and a slight Taoist streak and an anarchist chemist who owns two out of the three canonical Chinese classical novels.
The restoration of my computer demolished any chance that once existed of my doing serious work today. I had to read down my Google Reader subscriptions--there were nearly a thousand entries, largely because I'm subscribed to around seven BBC News feeds--and I had to answer/delete some emails to get them back down to a reasonable level. So that took a while. Then I didn't feel like doing anything else...yeah, you know how it goes. And in a year, I'll be a real person.
Tomorrow: plenty of reading in Latin and Greek, have to consolidate notes taken for my paper, have to create a decent outline of the topics I want to discuss in the paper. RUNNING. I've been running. Working my way up slowly to avoid setbacks. One mile a day on three days last week, and this week is one mile a day for five days. Next week...well, I'm not sure yet. I might set an amount of time and just see how much distance I can cover over that time. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free; it's been a long time since I trained for cross country.
I intended only to blog during the summer while I was gone, but then lots of other people who were also doing summer blogs are keeping theirs around and are still posting interesting things. Maybe I, too, can be interesting. Probably not, but it's worth a try. The conflict is really that the blog is too public to be a serious journal of my thoughts, but it also takes enough of my time that keeping a for-real journal is a bit too much. I guess I'll just combine this with having accountability? But that's cheating, since I should have accountability anyway...whatever.
The Computer Showcase downstairs in the Union is an amazing place, let me tell you. I took my computer there to try to get my computer healed of its paralyzing virus; this they did for free, in 10-15 minutes, while talking to me about Michigan hockey. Amazing. They were also selling printers for $25, and I think I'm going to go back tomorrow and purchase one. This will save me some inconvenient trips to Angell Hall to print things for, say, Building Blocks.
The first of the new roommates moved in today, which meant I also met him for the first time. His stuff had been trickling in, but always at times when I was gone. He's pretty interesting; he gave me his copies of Dante's Inferno (original Italian next to the English translation) and The Portable Kipling, and he brought with him an enormous collection of legitimately purchased DVDs and a Go board. It seems like he should fit right in with a Burkean classicist with authorial aspirations and a slight Taoist streak and an anarchist chemist who owns two out of the three canonical Chinese classical novels.
The restoration of my computer demolished any chance that once existed of my doing serious work today. I had to read down my Google Reader subscriptions--there were nearly a thousand entries, largely because I'm subscribed to around seven BBC News feeds--and I had to answer/delete some emails to get them back down to a reasonable level. So that took a while. Then I didn't feel like doing anything else...yeah, you know how it goes. And in a year, I'll be a real person.
Tomorrow: plenty of reading in Latin and Greek, have to consolidate notes taken for my paper, have to create a decent outline of the topics I want to discuss in the paper. RUNNING. I've been running. Working my way up slowly to avoid setbacks. One mile a day on three days last week, and this week is one mile a day for five days. Next week...well, I'm not sure yet. I might set an amount of time and just see how much distance I can cover over that time. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free; it's been a long time since I trained for cross country.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Insomnia and Writing Styles
I do not know what is wrong with my brain, but it must be something. (Pause.) Because I could NOT get to sleep last night. I intended to go to bed at 11 (okay, that became 12 once I realized how many episodes of The Soup were still on our TiVo) and wake up at 7, really get up and have a productive day. But falling asleep didn't happen at 12. Okay, no problem; I'll get up for a few minutes, read something, drink some warm milk with honey...that'll help. Back to bed. Nope. Okay. Maybe I'll read some more, go back to bed. Oh yeah, I didn't turn my fan on! Falling asleep...no. Maybe watch some YouTube videos? So I ended up getting to sleep at maybe 4 AM. Decided to change that wake-up time to 10 AM. Sigh. My plan for tonight is to read a book (checked out from Hatcher Graduate Library) over some chamomile tea (acquired at Kroger).
Also, apparently I write like Cory Doctorow. I mean, look:
So there's that.
Also, apparently I write like Cory Doctorow. I mean, look:
So there's that.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Ending Camp, Going Home, Being Home
Hokay, I suppose it's been a week now. I got home Tuesday at around 4:30 AM after driving--myself--for 15 hours. That includes the last leg, which was from Lincoln, Illinois to Newaygo, Michigan (4 hours) without stopping a single time. Btw, St. Louis is ridiculous to drive through; that was my fun fact for Monday.
The four days or so after my day off in Tulsa were a bit crazed. I came back to my cabin to discover that my new cell phone had arrived--Samsung LG, I like it quite a bit--but wasn't activated. Actually, I ended up having to call customer support and have the service person talk me through activating it manually. By the way, if I should have your number, you should send me a text message with your name; I lost all my old contacts when my last phone went into the pool with me. Moving on: I don't recall a lot of Thursday, July 15. Shrug. Friday was the final recital--almost right after dinner instead of at 8:15--then "Breaking of the Bread," which is sort of a final time together with staff and campers. Final recital, btw, was two hours long and brutal, although the performers mostly did well. OH, now I remember about Thursday: I organized dodgeball for the night program, which was fun, and then the kids had to set up chairs in the gym for Saturday's graduation ceremony. Then it was a late night because any campers who were doing solos on Friday with accompanists had to practice with them, and then the staff got together after that to decide on the various awards (i.e. theory class awards, male and female honor camper, etc.). Okay, on to Saturday...graduation was 10 AM. That also lasted two hours, largely because of long-winded Salvation Army officers. Each of the ensembles--the three levels of brass ensemble, the percussion ensemble, the creative worship team, the praise and worship band, and the beginner and high choirs--performed and did remarkably well. Then...the kids left. And the camp felt empty.
After graduation came lots of cleaning in the conservatory building, and then Andy took the staff out to a Chinese buffet. We came home and had a late-night swim in the pool, and then two other staff members and I watched three episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (haha).
Sunday, I woke up at some time (how should I remember?) and Laura, Emily, and I went into town. Emily felt sick and Laura had already eaten, so I was the only one eating; however, it was at Carl's Jr., where I had a six-dollar jalapeno burger, and it was amazing enough that I didn't care. We went back to camp, and I pretty much sat in my room on the computer for hours. Started my full clean of the cabin--that was a revealing experience--around 10 PM, finished around 3 AM. Woke up Monday and, pretty much, left. And that was that. Felt a little abrupt, but I guess that is the way of things.
Home has been...relaxing? Mom and Dad are in California and Laura's still at camp, so it's just Molly, Emily, and I. It's one of those times when I rarely feel like doing anything that doesn't involve looking at a screen--Buffy Season 6, Europa Universalis 3, and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, which I'd never seen before and is an excellent film--but when you're done, you still feel a little...bleh. I'm also not really caught up on sleep yet. I think I'll clean the house a bit today, and that'll probably feel a little better.
Okay, remember again to text me with your name so I can have your cell number if I should have it...later!
The four days or so after my day off in Tulsa were a bit crazed. I came back to my cabin to discover that my new cell phone had arrived--Samsung LG, I like it quite a bit--but wasn't activated. Actually, I ended up having to call customer support and have the service person talk me through activating it manually. By the way, if I should have your number, you should send me a text message with your name; I lost all my old contacts when my last phone went into the pool with me. Moving on: I don't recall a lot of Thursday, July 15. Shrug. Friday was the final recital--almost right after dinner instead of at 8:15--then "Breaking of the Bread," which is sort of a final time together with staff and campers. Final recital, btw, was two hours long and brutal, although the performers mostly did well. OH, now I remember about Thursday: I organized dodgeball for the night program, which was fun, and then the kids had to set up chairs in the gym for Saturday's graduation ceremony. Then it was a late night because any campers who were doing solos on Friday with accompanists had to practice with them, and then the staff got together after that to decide on the various awards (i.e. theory class awards, male and female honor camper, etc.). Okay, on to Saturday...graduation was 10 AM. That also lasted two hours, largely because of long-winded Salvation Army officers. Each of the ensembles--the three levels of brass ensemble, the percussion ensemble, the creative worship team, the praise and worship band, and the beginner and high choirs--performed and did remarkably well. Then...the kids left. And the camp felt empty.
After graduation came lots of cleaning in the conservatory building, and then Andy took the staff out to a Chinese buffet. We came home and had a late-night swim in the pool, and then two other staff members and I watched three episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (haha).
Sunday, I woke up at some time (how should I remember?) and Laura, Emily, and I went into town. Emily felt sick and Laura had already eaten, so I was the only one eating; however, it was at Carl's Jr., where I had a six-dollar jalapeno burger, and it was amazing enough that I didn't care. We went back to camp, and I pretty much sat in my room on the computer for hours. Started my full clean of the cabin--that was a revealing experience--around 10 PM, finished around 3 AM. Woke up Monday and, pretty much, left. And that was that. Felt a little abrupt, but I guess that is the way of things.
Home has been...relaxing? Mom and Dad are in California and Laura's still at camp, so it's just Molly, Emily, and I. It's one of those times when I rarely feel like doing anything that doesn't involve looking at a screen--Buffy Season 6, Europa Universalis 3, and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, which I'd never seen before and is an excellent film--but when you're done, you still feel a little...bleh. I'm also not really caught up on sleep yet. I think I'll clean the house a bit today, and that'll probably feel a little better.
Okay, remember again to text me with your name so I can have your cell number if I should have it...later!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I Read the Tao Te Ching in Tulsa, Oklahoma
Sorry for the delay; craziness has imposed itself on my carefully laid plans and my sense of calm. I was going to use Saturday morning for blog updating/general Internet usin', but I happened not to be present (apparently) when the other counselors, including my sister (the head and most veteran counselor) decided that I should be the one to take two campers to the hospital. So that left me with literally about 15 minutes of legitimate free time. My (excellent) boss Andy noticed that this made me frustrated, which is pretty legit considering that my version of frustration mostly expresses itself in talking somewhat less than usual, and decided I needed some free time. More on that later.
After I got back from Tahlequah Urgent Care (3 hours...sigh), I almost immediately had to go teach my elective and then head down to the pool to be a lifeguard. As soon as I got to the pool, I jumped in, because seriously. Minor stress reduction efforts were necessary. As soon as I got out of the pool, I noticed that my swim trunks were a little weightier than usual. This excess weight was caused, naturally, by my newly non-functioning cell phone. Cell phones are not creatures of the water. That cell phone was my only timepiece and alarm clock.
That was Saturday; on Sunday we left for Six Flags Hurricane Harbor, which is apparently a water park in Arlington, TX. That's a 6 hour (or so) drive from Tahlequah. So we rented two charter buses--one for the girls and one for the guys, thankfully--and stayed Sunday night at the SA corps in Arlington, then spent most of Monday at the park. I, being a stubborn person and having accumulated perhaps a half hour of sleep on the floor of a particularly muggy church gymnasium, went on none of the rides and spent my time translating Ovid in the shade of the area we'd reserved in the park. Somehow, that felt (and feels) like an accomplishment. I realize that I like to do things entirely for the purpose of making people scratch their heads when I get in a mood. Next year, if there is a next year, I plan to go on every ride. Eat that.
One thing led to another, and now it's Wednesday. (Eat that, too.) I had told Andy that it seemed silly to take a day off in the middle of the last week of camp, but the conversation that followed essentially went, "Nonsense. When?" "Er...Wednesday?" "Done. Go." So I decided to go to Tulsa and see what that city's all about. Reminds me a bit of Grand Rapids, right down to the university campus downtown. Of course, there's the heat. Anyway, I homed right in on 71st Street, which contains quite a nice mall entirely lacking in bookstores. The inescapable Barnes and Noble, it turned out, was across the street. A short jaunt delivered me to the cool refuge of a Barnes and Noble cafe with a newly purchased copy of the Penguin Classics translation of the Tao Te Ching, whose 5000 characters of text I consumed in a single sitting.
And now I'm in the Starbucks somewhat down the road. (The B&N Cafe--also, of course, a Starbucks--had free wi-fi but no outlets. Charming.) Thinking about where I'm going to get dinner and what movie I'm going to see. "By yourself?!" some people asked, but I'm good company, so I don't mind. Also thinking about whether or not I should rent a hotel room and do some quality sleeping. That seems expensive for something I can do for free in another three days or so, but it's been a while. I think I'll probably just go back to camp tonight and see if I can bum a bed in the nurse's station.
Exhaustion is the theme of the last few days, and points like that always show me who I really am. Exhaustion should drive me to God...not to get peace or fulfillment for myself, but to lean entirely on His strength to continue serving the kingdom. Instead, exhaustion just activates my selfishness, and I try to escape from serving as much as possible. Prayer is definitely needed on that front!
Please keep on updating me on how things are going back in A2, GR, wherever. Nashville. You know. I can't really do phone calls, as it happens, but I can check my email every few days are so. AND my time here is almost over, so I'll have even greater Internet access soon.
Agape!
After I got back from Tahlequah Urgent Care (3 hours...sigh), I almost immediately had to go teach my elective and then head down to the pool to be a lifeguard. As soon as I got to the pool, I jumped in, because seriously. Minor stress reduction efforts were necessary. As soon as I got out of the pool, I noticed that my swim trunks were a little weightier than usual. This excess weight was caused, naturally, by my newly non-functioning cell phone. Cell phones are not creatures of the water. That cell phone was my only timepiece and alarm clock.
That was Saturday; on Sunday we left for Six Flags Hurricane Harbor, which is apparently a water park in Arlington, TX. That's a 6 hour (or so) drive from Tahlequah. So we rented two charter buses--one for the girls and one for the guys, thankfully--and stayed Sunday night at the SA corps in Arlington, then spent most of Monday at the park. I, being a stubborn person and having accumulated perhaps a half hour of sleep on the floor of a particularly muggy church gymnasium, went on none of the rides and spent my time translating Ovid in the shade of the area we'd reserved in the park. Somehow, that felt (and feels) like an accomplishment. I realize that I like to do things entirely for the purpose of making people scratch their heads when I get in a mood. Next year, if there is a next year, I plan to go on every ride. Eat that.
One thing led to another, and now it's Wednesday. (Eat that, too.) I had told Andy that it seemed silly to take a day off in the middle of the last week of camp, but the conversation that followed essentially went, "Nonsense. When?" "Er...Wednesday?" "Done. Go." So I decided to go to Tulsa and see what that city's all about. Reminds me a bit of Grand Rapids, right down to the university campus downtown. Of course, there's the heat. Anyway, I homed right in on 71st Street, which contains quite a nice mall entirely lacking in bookstores. The inescapable Barnes and Noble, it turned out, was across the street. A short jaunt delivered me to the cool refuge of a Barnes and Noble cafe with a newly purchased copy of the Penguin Classics translation of the Tao Te Ching, whose 5000 characters of text I consumed in a single sitting.
And now I'm in the Starbucks somewhat down the road. (The B&N Cafe--also, of course, a Starbucks--had free wi-fi but no outlets. Charming.) Thinking about where I'm going to get dinner and what movie I'm going to see. "By yourself?!" some people asked, but I'm good company, so I don't mind. Also thinking about whether or not I should rent a hotel room and do some quality sleeping. That seems expensive for something I can do for free in another three days or so, but it's been a while. I think I'll probably just go back to camp tonight and see if I can bum a bed in the nurse's station.
Exhaustion is the theme of the last few days, and points like that always show me who I really am. Exhaustion should drive me to God...not to get peace or fulfillment for myself, but to lean entirely on His strength to continue serving the kingdom. Instead, exhaustion just activates my selfishness, and I try to escape from serving as much as possible. Prayer is definitely needed on that front!
Please keep on updating me on how things are going back in A2, GR, wherever. Nashville. You know. I can't really do phone calls, as it happens, but I can check my email every few days are so. AND my time here is almost over, so I'll have even greater Internet access soon.
Agape!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Rain
The last few days, we've been getting dumped on by the remains of Hurricane...Alex? I'm in a news bubble down here. Anyway, it's been nasty out. And whenever it rains, the regular camp does recreation time in the gym. That means that my sports elective has absolutely nowhere to go besides...the ball field. So today we played freeze tag--I gave them the choice--and two kids ended up needing slight medical-ish attention. Grrr.
This camp makes me realize what a slacker I am, haha. Some of the kids who come don't care too much, sadly, about the music/instruments they're learning. But some of them practice for hours on end and get really good, taking advantage of the unique opportunity they have here. Makes me wish I hadn't quit...piano, French horn, basketball, cross country, etc. I think I'm going to try to identify things I want to get/stay good at. So far, it's Latin, Greek, singing. I want to learn the guitar, maybe, and take up piano again. Keep myself in good shape. We'll see, haha. I know everyone has those times when they resolve to become disciplined. Just have to do it.
I definitely started playing Europa Universalis 3 since I've been down here. I can't just do something normal and play Spain, England, or France. I have to play Ming dynasty China, Bali...Bali was fun. They are currently the most prestigious country in the world (I lucked into a level 6 prestige advisor) and I'm trying to gear up to colonize Hawaii on my way to California. Woot. By the way, I'm 24 years old. And available! Hehe
So yeah, Nebraska joined the Big Ten. That's still crazy.
I'm always reminded of the strange ways in which God works. He is, I think, teaching me to give him room to work when something seems impossible, in people's lives who seem like they don't care. Definitely praying for a few people in my cabin who seem really apathetic about the Bible studies as well as their music. It just seems so sad to have the opportunity to be in band class twice a day, have private lessons with talented musicians once a week, and have access to all kinds of different instruments, and not to care about it at all. But it's even worse to ignore the opportunity they have here to get closer--or get to know--Christ. Even some officers' kids, it seems, don't really care all that much.
Seeya!
This camp makes me realize what a slacker I am, haha. Some of the kids who come don't care too much, sadly, about the music/instruments they're learning. But some of them practice for hours on end and get really good, taking advantage of the unique opportunity they have here. Makes me wish I hadn't quit...piano, French horn, basketball, cross country, etc. I think I'm going to try to identify things I want to get/stay good at. So far, it's Latin, Greek, singing. I want to learn the guitar, maybe, and take up piano again. Keep myself in good shape. We'll see, haha. I know everyone has those times when they resolve to become disciplined. Just have to do it.
I definitely started playing Europa Universalis 3 since I've been down here. I can't just do something normal and play Spain, England, or France. I have to play Ming dynasty China, Bali...Bali was fun. They are currently the most prestigious country in the world (I lucked into a level 6 prestige advisor) and I'm trying to gear up to colonize Hawaii on my way to California. Woot. By the way, I'm 24 years old. And available! Hehe
So yeah, Nebraska joined the Big Ten. That's still crazy.
I'm always reminded of the strange ways in which God works. He is, I think, teaching me to give him room to work when something seems impossible, in people's lives who seem like they don't care. Definitely praying for a few people in my cabin who seem really apathetic about the Bible studies as well as their music. It just seems so sad to have the opportunity to be in band class twice a day, have private lessons with talented musicians once a week, and have access to all kinds of different instruments, and not to care about it at all. But it's even worse to ignore the opportunity they have here to get closer--or get to know--Christ. Even some officers' kids, it seems, don't really care all that much.
Seeya!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Ch-ch-ch-changes
Eventful last few days: the camper who left for a short time came back, then we added a new camper who was attending a wedding in Alaska. Then another kid from my cabin got kicked out (that would be the 13-year-old con man) for possessing various kinds of contraband and stolen conservatory items. Then the kid who left because he was sick came back again. So I'm back to seven campers in my cabin.
One kid in my cabin has been particularly horrifying, just in terms of his lack of respect for anyone, including authority. I cannot adequately describe how infuriating it is. Even the very nicest kids in this camp make fun of him because of how he is. He complains that people are rude to him, and I can only tell him that he has been ruder by far to others than any other camper ever. In history. He's the reason I have to pray every single night for patience. So please pray for me on that score!
One thing, though: apparently, when I'm "getting on" people (that's how they say "yelling at," or "lecturing"), I'm hilarious. I noticed that my scolding style can best be described as Bill Cosby. So I was "getting on" this kid last night, and everyone else in my cabin is laughing (and agreeing with me). Sigh.
I haven't really been online much in the last few days, so I was not able to write about the most awesome thing ever. On Saturday, the kids' night program was Mission Impossible. Now, Mission Impossible is the following: The kids divide up into cabins, and they each get one of those plastic milk crates. They must run across the ball field toward the backstop. There, there is a blue tarp covered with baby oil, and a couple people holding tickets. The kids have to get the tickets, run back, and put the tickets on their crate. To motivate them, we lied and said the winning cabin would get an obscene amount of House Cup points.
The thing is, though, that on their way to get the tickets, they cannot be touched by silly string or water. And the entire ball field is covered with tables turned on their side, slip 'n' slides, and staff members holding cans of silly string, water guns, hundreds of water balloons, and a fire hose. When kids asked me who won, I said, "The staff." It. Was. Awesome. I want to play again. This must be employed at Harvest in some way. Seriously.
More later; let me know how you're doing! Whoever you are out there reading my blog.
One kid in my cabin has been particularly horrifying, just in terms of his lack of respect for anyone, including authority. I cannot adequately describe how infuriating it is. Even the very nicest kids in this camp make fun of him because of how he is. He complains that people are rude to him, and I can only tell him that he has been ruder by far to others than any other camper ever. In history. He's the reason I have to pray every single night for patience. So please pray for me on that score!
One thing, though: apparently, when I'm "getting on" people (that's how they say "yelling at," or "lecturing"), I'm hilarious. I noticed that my scolding style can best be described as Bill Cosby. So I was "getting on" this kid last night, and everyone else in my cabin is laughing (and agreeing with me). Sigh.
I haven't really been online much in the last few days, so I was not able to write about the most awesome thing ever. On Saturday, the kids' night program was Mission Impossible. Now, Mission Impossible is the following: The kids divide up into cabins, and they each get one of those plastic milk crates. They must run across the ball field toward the backstop. There, there is a blue tarp covered with baby oil, and a couple people holding tickets. The kids have to get the tickets, run back, and put the tickets on their crate. To motivate them, we lied and said the winning cabin would get an obscene amount of House Cup points.
The thing is, though, that on their way to get the tickets, they cannot be touched by silly string or water. And the entire ball field is covered with tables turned on their side, slip 'n' slides, and staff members holding cans of silly string, water guns, hundreds of water balloons, and a fire hose. When kids asked me who won, I said, "The staff." It. Was. Awesome. I want to play again. This must be employed at Harvest in some way. Seriously.
More later; let me know how you're doing! Whoever you are out there reading my blog.
Friday, July 2, 2010
CHAMPIONS (sort of)
We had Board Game Wars as our night program a couple nights ago, which I thought would be incredibly boring. Nah. We played four games, and the winning cabin at each one would win 50 points. Or so they said. So we didn't win Jenga; some other cabin got 50 points. We didn't win Uno, but we did have the lowest value (counting up all the cards) at the end, so we got 50 along with the for-real winners. We got another 100, I think, from having a lot of full houses and a large straight in Yahtzee (sp?). But then...then came the Connect 4 Tournament. Runner-up gets 300 points, winner gets 1000. (Oh, btw, these are House Cup points.)
I had been preparing for this tournament, unknowingly, for a year. Last year I played Connect 4 for the first time since my early childhood at Excel English Academy, and there I refined my strategy as I plowed my way through classrooms full of 9- and 10-year olds. So I was ready for this one. It was a single elimination tournament with 8 cabins. We played a girls' cabin in Round 1; after a cat's game--the first I'd ever seen in Connect 4--we took advantage of an opponents' mistake and advanced. The next game, against fellow guys' cabin Chinook, pitted my 13-year-old con man with an Arkansas accent against the other cabin's counselor, Jimmy Cox. The game was even more intense than the first; finally, nearing the end, Jimmy made a tiny error and Dakota took full advantage. On to the finals...against arch-rival and House Cup-leading cabin Mojave. Mojave's representative: Adam Wallace, an awesome kid whose family lives on the camp. I took the reins for our side.
He played; I played. I played, then he played. We set traps, counter-traps, and counter-counter-traps. Each move was met with groans and cheers all around, but we were only paying attention to the board. It seemed that a cat's game was the only possible option. I made a play, hoping he wouldn't see my possible winning move. He didn't. I made the winning play, and the entire conservatory went into hysteria as Illinois, the perennial losers and almost the last-place cabin, leapt up into the top of the rankings with one drop of a Connect 4 piece. The five remaining campers and I shouted and hugged and enjoyed, for the first time, the thrill of victory rather than the agony of defeat.
Two weeks left at camp after Sunday!
I had been preparing for this tournament, unknowingly, for a year. Last year I played Connect 4 for the first time since my early childhood at Excel English Academy, and there I refined my strategy as I plowed my way through classrooms full of 9- and 10-year olds. So I was ready for this one. It was a single elimination tournament with 8 cabins. We played a girls' cabin in Round 1; after a cat's game--the first I'd ever seen in Connect 4--we took advantage of an opponents' mistake and advanced. The next game, against fellow guys' cabin Chinook, pitted my 13-year-old con man with an Arkansas accent against the other cabin's counselor, Jimmy Cox. The game was even more intense than the first; finally, nearing the end, Jimmy made a tiny error and Dakota took full advantage. On to the finals...against arch-rival and House Cup-leading cabin Mojave. Mojave's representative: Adam Wallace, an awesome kid whose family lives on the camp. I took the reins for our side.
He played; I played. I played, then he played. We set traps, counter-traps, and counter-counter-traps. Each move was met with groans and cheers all around, but we were only paying attention to the board. It seemed that a cat's game was the only possible option. I made a play, hoping he wouldn't see my possible winning move. He didn't. I made the winning play, and the entire conservatory went into hysteria as Illinois, the perennial losers and almost the last-place cabin, leapt up into the top of the rankings with one drop of a Connect 4 piece. The five remaining campers and I shouted and hugged and enjoyed, for the first time, the thrill of victory rather than the agony of defeat.
Two weeks left at camp after Sunday!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Another kid from my cabin got kicked out the day after the last camper left because of his sickness, so I have six left, and only five until the one kid gets back from his thing. That's been interesting.
Today is pretty much the halfway point of the camp. It's hard to believe I've only been here for twenty-two days, but it's also hard to believe that so much time has gone by already. I might have written this before, but every day feels like two days and every morning I wonder where the time has gone. Those things seem antithetical, but there we are.
One thing that's weird about being here is how little I know about what's going on in the world. Usually Google Reader keeps me abreast of world and sporting events, but I'm almost totally sheltered from all that here. That's why I didn't know until a couple days ago that Nebraska joined the Big Ten, leaving us with twelve teams and leaving the Big XII with eleven teams. Cuhrazy. I wonder how the divisions will be, er, divided.
Some of the recent night programs have been pretty good. We played Capture the Flag, boys v. girls, with a human flag, which was a lot of fun. There was Renegade Rebel, wherein the staff get numbers 1 through 10 and then hide, and the campers have to find them in order. It could have been fun, but the campers mostly just gave up early and went back to the conservatory. We also had a Gong Show, which was amusing for the most part. One of my campers and another guy went up with a pocket watch and lasted twenty-five seconds doing nothing before getting gonged. Sigh.
Kayla--one of the other counselors--Emily, and I went to a Chinese buffet in town before lunch so as to have some real, non-camp food for once. It felt like we were parents getting away from the kids for a day; we just talked about the kids in conservatory.
Experiences like this remind me of how weird I am, haha. Let me explain. I have probably gotten to know most of the kids better than I've gotten to know the rest of the staff. Like, while they sit all at one place at one table, I'm out with the kids. They hang around in one group during sealed orders--a 15-minute period of devotions plus mandatory silence each day before dinner--and I basically sit quietly somewhere else. How do other people make friends so fast?
In a week and a half we're going to Six Flags Hurricane Harbor, a water park in Texas. I'm told this is fun. However, I'm a little anxious. We have eighty (well, less than that now) kids to take down to a water park. We're staying overnight at a Salvation Army corps on the way. How is this not going to be the most stressful thing of all time? I feel like I'm being lied to.
Okay, so...more later? Adios!
Today is pretty much the halfway point of the camp. It's hard to believe I've only been here for twenty-two days, but it's also hard to believe that so much time has gone by already. I might have written this before, but every day feels like two days and every morning I wonder where the time has gone. Those things seem antithetical, but there we are.
One thing that's weird about being here is how little I know about what's going on in the world. Usually Google Reader keeps me abreast of world and sporting events, but I'm almost totally sheltered from all that here. That's why I didn't know until a couple days ago that Nebraska joined the Big Ten, leaving us with twelve teams and leaving the Big XII with eleven teams. Cuhrazy. I wonder how the divisions will be, er, divided.
Some of the recent night programs have been pretty good. We played Capture the Flag, boys v. girls, with a human flag, which was a lot of fun. There was Renegade Rebel, wherein the staff get numbers 1 through 10 and then hide, and the campers have to find them in order. It could have been fun, but the campers mostly just gave up early and went back to the conservatory. We also had a Gong Show, which was amusing for the most part. One of my campers and another guy went up with a pocket watch and lasted twenty-five seconds doing nothing before getting gonged. Sigh.
Kayla--one of the other counselors--Emily, and I went to a Chinese buffet in town before lunch so as to have some real, non-camp food for once. It felt like we were parents getting away from the kids for a day; we just talked about the kids in conservatory.
Experiences like this remind me of how weird I am, haha. Let me explain. I have probably gotten to know most of the kids better than I've gotten to know the rest of the staff. Like, while they sit all at one place at one table, I'm out with the kids. They hang around in one group during sealed orders--a 15-minute period of devotions plus mandatory silence each day before dinner--and I basically sit quietly somewhere else. How do other people make friends so fast?
In a week and a half we're going to Six Flags Hurricane Harbor, a water park in Texas. I'm told this is fun. However, I'm a little anxious. We have eighty (well, less than that now) kids to take down to a water park. We're staying overnight at a Salvation Army corps on the way. How is this not going to be the most stressful thing of all time? I feel like I'm being lied to.
Okay, so...more later? Adios!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Two Weeks (Almost) Down
Almost at the end of week 2 (out of 5); still pretty exhausted. The weekends are especially exhausting, because I'm one of only three conservatory lifeguards; that means that I have to be on duty from 3-5 PM or so on Saturday--I get one day off per week from afternoon free time, instead of two--plus I'll be on duty Sunday 3-5 PM and 6-8 PM. Hopefully this week I can get the campers to be quiet during the mandatory Sunday afternoon nap time. We'll see...
The camper that I had to take in to get tested and treated in town did his solo at the weekly recital last night and then his mom took him home. That reduces my cabin to 7 people--the capacity is 10, and some other cabins have that many--and another one is supposed to leave for three days, starting today. Another camper who has really bad attention-seeking behavior had a bout of shaking last night; the nurse's assistant and the camp director came and calmed him down and have him some Benadryl to knock him out. If his behavior gets worse, or maybe even just continues, I might even lose another one. This is kinda crazy. The conservatory director asked me if I was discouraged, and I'm really not. It's just disconcerting and disappointing.
I've realized that I can read during some things, like "circle time," when I'm supposed to be supervising the kids (as long as I check on them periodically). I've gotten a lot of Latin reading done; almost finished Book 1 of Ovid, and I think I'm going to dive right into Book 2 after that.
My first night program, the "sport" part of "Sport and Spa," got thunderstormed out, and we had a movie night instead. Shame; I was looking forward to playing kickball. Tonight is "Capture the Flag," and they use human flags. That should be fun; there are a few night programs the kids always talk about: mission impossible, messy night, capture the flag. I'M looking forward to "Mission Impossible," largely because, in addition to the water balloons with which the staff gets to pelt campers, we're also bringing out...wait for it...a fire hose. That is the epitome of stress reduction.
Prayer requests:
The camper that I had to take in to get tested and treated in town did his solo at the weekly recital last night and then his mom took him home. That reduces my cabin to 7 people--the capacity is 10, and some other cabins have that many--and another one is supposed to leave for three days, starting today. Another camper who has really bad attention-seeking behavior had a bout of shaking last night; the nurse's assistant and the camp director came and calmed him down and have him some Benadryl to knock him out. If his behavior gets worse, or maybe even just continues, I might even lose another one. This is kinda crazy. The conservatory director asked me if I was discouraged, and I'm really not. It's just disconcerting and disappointing.
I've realized that I can read during some things, like "circle time," when I'm supposed to be supervising the kids (as long as I check on them periodically). I've gotten a lot of Latin reading done; almost finished Book 1 of Ovid, and I think I'm going to dive right into Book 2 after that.
My first night program, the "sport" part of "Sport and Spa," got thunderstormed out, and we had a movie night instead. Shame; I was looking forward to playing kickball. Tonight is "Capture the Flag," and they use human flags. That should be fun; there are a few night programs the kids always talk about: mission impossible, messy night, capture the flag. I'M looking forward to "Mission Impossible," largely because, in addition to the water balloons with which the staff gets to pelt campers, we're also bringing out...wait for it...a fire hose. That is the epitome of stress reduction.
Prayer requests:
- Strength/energy for each new day.
- Discernment and wisdom in how to reach out to the kids, especially those in my cabin.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
I would've posted earlier, but it's been an exciting last few days (in a bad way). I had to ask; apparently the medical issues going on at camp right now are a good deal worse than in recent years. One of the other counselors told me it was because they're allowing younger kids into camp. Today, though, I had to take one of my campers to get treated at the medical facilities in town. There's been sort of a spate of asthma attacks and heat issues. I teach a sports elective, and I have to find things for them to do indoors; today was cards, for the person who sat in for me while I was in Tahlequah. Sigh.
The heat itself is seeming more normal to me all the time. Not that it doesn't feel hot; it does. I just expect it more now. I may have mentioned this previously, but 70 degrees Fahrenheit has never felt so cold before.
Apparently my cabin is traditionally one of the worst--the kids come back to the same cabin, usually. I've been giving my campers speeches to motivate them to earn some points, which they can gain mostly by practicing. I told them that the hole they've dug means they all have to practice during all 1.5 hours of free time for four days per week. To this, they agreed. The practice sign in/sign out sheets tell a different story. Sigh. I've always been a competitive person, and sometimes overly so. I don't really understand why people can't motivate themselves to, you know, prove everyone wrong, see the shocked look on the camp director's face, beat the kids who are mocking you for being one of the last-place cabins. Guess some people will just always be content with losing--and possibly having to clean the conservatory each week--as long as they can avoid doing anything that looks suspiciously like work.
I learned a new word in Korean from Songheui: "pigonae," is how I'm choosing to transliterate that one. I don't think I (or, apparently, she, or probably any of us) have gotten a good night's sleep in two weeks. However, I have found time recently to read about 350 lines of Ovid's Metamorphoses, Book 1. It's much more enjoyable to read Latin at the level that a 3rd year Latin Master's student does than the level of a college senior.
God's really teaching me a lot this summer about having faith. I'm running out of time here, so I'll give that some detail later, but I'm trying to do devotions with my cabin and I have a number of kids who are...well, uninterested in spiritual things. They go to church and call themselves Christians, but that's often not what their words and actions tell me. Plus, I'm going without so many of the things I normally have around me all the time, and I'm not getting the amount of sleep I'm used to--I'm just trying to rely on God for all things. Oh, and not worry about the things I have to do when I get back.
My intention is to update this again on Saturday, but that intention might be thwarted. (Hopefully not.) The fact that I'm one of only three conservatory lifeguards means that I'm on duty in some way or other, pretty much, from noon Saturday through Monday at around 10 AM. If you don't hear from me before then, that's why!
The heat itself is seeming more normal to me all the time. Not that it doesn't feel hot; it does. I just expect it more now. I may have mentioned this previously, but 70 degrees Fahrenheit has never felt so cold before.
Apparently my cabin is traditionally one of the worst--the kids come back to the same cabin, usually. I've been giving my campers speeches to motivate them to earn some points, which they can gain mostly by practicing. I told them that the hole they've dug means they all have to practice during all 1.5 hours of free time for four days per week. To this, they agreed. The practice sign in/sign out sheets tell a different story. Sigh. I've always been a competitive person, and sometimes overly so. I don't really understand why people can't motivate themselves to, you know, prove everyone wrong, see the shocked look on the camp director's face, beat the kids who are mocking you for being one of the last-place cabins. Guess some people will just always be content with losing--and possibly having to clean the conservatory each week--as long as they can avoid doing anything that looks suspiciously like work.
I learned a new word in Korean from Songheui: "pigonae," is how I'm choosing to transliterate that one. I don't think I (or, apparently, she, or probably any of us) have gotten a good night's sleep in two weeks. However, I have found time recently to read about 350 lines of Ovid's Metamorphoses, Book 1. It's much more enjoyable to read Latin at the level that a 3rd year Latin Master's student does than the level of a college senior.
God's really teaching me a lot this summer about having faith. I'm running out of time here, so I'll give that some detail later, but I'm trying to do devotions with my cabin and I have a number of kids who are...well, uninterested in spiritual things. They go to church and call themselves Christians, but that's often not what their words and actions tell me. Plus, I'm going without so many of the things I normally have around me all the time, and I'm not getting the amount of sleep I'm used to--I'm just trying to rely on God for all things. Oh, and not worry about the things I have to do when I get back.
My intention is to update this again on Saturday, but that intention might be thwarted. (Hopefully not.) The fact that I'm one of only three conservatory lifeguards means that I'm on duty in some way or other, pretty much, from noon Saturday through Monday at around 10 AM. If you don't hear from me before then, that's why!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Okay, I know it's been a long time, but things have been a little crazy during the first week of camp. I "have" lots of free time during the day, technically, but recently it's been taken up by dealing with camper issues. We've had what must be a record number of minor-ish health issues that we've had to go to the nurse with, lots of behavior issues that have had to be dealt with. Sigh. I got switched on the first night of camp with the adjacent cabin, and I went from having lots of first-year kids to having veterans...who have a reputation already for making trouble. And they've made plenty of trouble. We have a sort of Hogwarts-esque house cup thing, and our cabin is already well behind in points. They can earn it back by practicing a lot and doing lots of music theory worksheets, but....well. That seems to be problematic.
I think my Northern accent is gradually being replaced by a more communicative Southern one. I have now already told someone to "put up" something, rather than "put" it "away." As far as accents go, this camp is an interesting place. Some people come from Arkansas and have a distinctive accent from there, others of the staff are from Louisiana, plenty are from Oklahoma, which is sort of divided between Midwestern and Southern.
I think I mentioned that I've been super busy here. Normally the kids have an elective class--I teach sports--at 1:45, then they get canteen (1 drink + 1 snack from the canteen) at 2:45, then free time at 3. The regular summer camp staff get weekends off, so I had to teach sports, run down and staff canteen, then go over to the pool and lifeguard for a couple hours. Needless to say, I'm pretty beat. Fortunately, the camp has a mandatory 2-hour nap on Sunday afternoons...it's going to be soo nice...
Prayer requests:
--Energy to keep on going despite lack of sleep and sometimes not really having time to eat and drink enough.
--Faith that God is working in these kids' lives even when they're being very difficult.
Keep me updated on what's going on with y'all! (<-- see that?) Hopefully I'll get to update again within a few days...
I think my Northern accent is gradually being replaced by a more communicative Southern one. I have now already told someone to "put up" something, rather than "put" it "away." As far as accents go, this camp is an interesting place. Some people come from Arkansas and have a distinctive accent from there, others of the staff are from Louisiana, plenty are from Oklahoma, which is sort of divided between Midwestern and Southern.
I think I mentioned that I've been super busy here. Normally the kids have an elective class--I teach sports--at 1:45, then they get canteen (1 drink + 1 snack from the canteen) at 2:45, then free time at 3. The regular summer camp staff get weekends off, so I had to teach sports, run down and staff canteen, then go over to the pool and lifeguard for a couple hours. Needless to say, I'm pretty beat. Fortunately, the camp has a mandatory 2-hour nap on Sunday afternoons...it's going to be soo nice...
Prayer requests:
--Energy to keep on going despite lack of sleep and sometimes not really having time to eat and drink enough.
--Faith that God is working in these kids' lives even when they're being very difficult.
Keep me updated on what's going on with y'all! (<-- see that?) Hopefully I'll get to update again within a few days...
Friday, June 11, 2010
Hey guys, trying to upload another video and hopefully that works...the Internet connection isn't the fastest or most reliable. I'm typing this from my cabin, and I'll have to walk a couple minutes over to the dining hall area to pick up a wireless signal, so I don't know if the video I took will actually load. If it doesn't, there won't be a video at the end of this :P.
I have a few interesting stories from the beginning of camp so far. A lot of the folks who work here over the summer go to Oklahoma Central University, and one is an international student from South Korea named Seonghi Lee. My sister is her bathroom-mate (counselors share a separate bathroom with the adjacent cabin's counselor), so she found pretty quickly that I knew a LITTLE bit of Korean. She said my pronunciation was pretty good, so that's good to hear, haha. Also, when we were doing introductions, she shared that she was from Korea and that pronouncing English is hard, especially the word “beach.” Yeah, she's pretty much hilarious.
No one here knows how to play Euchre...except myself, my sisters, Rachel Veltkamp (the secretary, who grew up in my hometown), and another guy counselor who has family from Michigan. He and Rachel were pretty excited to play, so I've been playing quite a bit of that recently. It'd been so long...
The food here is, well, a lot. And on top of that, they give you a hefty evening snack. Now, I'm certainly not complaining, but I'm starting to watch what I eat. And it's ME watching what I eat, so that should tell you how obviously too much it is, haha. Fortunately, my bathroom-mate and his wife (the Buckeyes) are going to run in the mornings while our campers are at their electives, so I'm going to get in on that and hopefully actually get myself into shape here rather than blow up.
Spent all day yesterday—pretty much—training for lifeguarding. The regular lifeguard staff are off on weekends when conservatory students can use the pool, so if some of us conservatory counselors get trained, they can swim. That was definitely, well, a mix of interesting and incredibly boring. We watched a four hour long video about lifeguarding. But we also did a 300 yard swim, which was strenuous, and a few hours of training for different rescues—distressed swimmer, passive drowning victim, unconscious submerged, spinal, deep water spinal...it was a lot to get through. But apparently we did okay, so it looks like we'll get certified! Definitely a praise, because it's apparently a 32-hour course that we “did” in maybe a total of six hours. OH yes, and I got to do CPR on a dummy for the first time.
I've been having really good times with God lately, which is a huge praise. I'm looking forward to being tested this summer and just beginning to obey when God asks me to jump off what look like cliffs—breaking my habit of always being safe and secure. I can't wait to see what God does this summer! Please pray that I'll continue to pursue those times and that God will strengthen my faith as the campers come in that He can do great things even through me, lowly as I am.
That's all for now! If things worked out right, there should be a video below this. Otherwise...till next time, dear readers.
I have a few interesting stories from the beginning of camp so far. A lot of the folks who work here over the summer go to Oklahoma Central University, and one is an international student from South Korea named Seonghi Lee. My sister is her bathroom-mate (counselors share a separate bathroom with the adjacent cabin's counselor), so she found pretty quickly that I knew a LITTLE bit of Korean. She said my pronunciation was pretty good, so that's good to hear, haha. Also, when we were doing introductions, she shared that she was from Korea and that pronouncing English is hard, especially the word “beach.” Yeah, she's pretty much hilarious.
No one here knows how to play Euchre...except myself, my sisters, Rachel Veltkamp (the secretary, who grew up in my hometown), and another guy counselor who has family from Michigan. He and Rachel were pretty excited to play, so I've been playing quite a bit of that recently. It'd been so long...
The food here is, well, a lot. And on top of that, they give you a hefty evening snack. Now, I'm certainly not complaining, but I'm starting to watch what I eat. And it's ME watching what I eat, so that should tell you how obviously too much it is, haha. Fortunately, my bathroom-mate and his wife (the Buckeyes) are going to run in the mornings while our campers are at their electives, so I'm going to get in on that and hopefully actually get myself into shape here rather than blow up.
Spent all day yesterday—pretty much—training for lifeguarding. The regular lifeguard staff are off on weekends when conservatory students can use the pool, so if some of us conservatory counselors get trained, they can swim. That was definitely, well, a mix of interesting and incredibly boring. We watched a four hour long video about lifeguarding. But we also did a 300 yard swim, which was strenuous, and a few hours of training for different rescues—distressed swimmer, passive drowning victim, unconscious submerged, spinal, deep water spinal...it was a lot to get through. But apparently we did okay, so it looks like we'll get certified! Definitely a praise, because it's apparently a 32-hour course that we “did” in maybe a total of six hours. OH yes, and I got to do CPR on a dummy for the first time.
I've been having really good times with God lately, which is a huge praise. I'm looking forward to being tested this summer and just beginning to obey when God asks me to jump off what look like cliffs—breaking my habit of always being safe and secure. I can't wait to see what God does this summer! Please pray that I'll continue to pursue those times and that God will strengthen my faith as the campers come in that He can do great things even through me, lowly as I am.
That's all for now! If things worked out right, there should be a video below this. Otherwise...till next time, dear readers.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Day the First
Accessing the Internet for the remainder of the summer is going to be a bit easier than expected, but for the next few days—orientation stuff—could be a little difficult. That's why you, dear readers, are getting two posts at the same time today; I'm making full use of my brief window of opportunity.
I'm not totally sure, given my daily schedule, how exactly I'm going to write or say here everything I'd want to, so I'll try just to give the highlights; if you want deeper examination, you'll have to get that some other way or just wait!
We played a lot of those sort of icebreaker/teamwork type games, which was actually surprisingly fun. Did you know I'm one of the oldest people at this camp? I didn't. Also, there are two big Ohio State fans (at least one of them is an alumna), so God's giving me challenges already. Sigh. :P But a lot of the counselors and staff are from Oklahoma, Texas, and Arkansas and went to places like the University of Arkansas, Oklahoma Wesleyan, Oral Roberts, and even Northeastern State University, rahtcheer in Tahlequah.
After that we had a talk from Andrew Barrington, who runs the conservatory portion of the camp. He read Hebews 11 and talked about the importance and the difficulty of having and acting in faith. That really blessed me, because it's something that I've been thinking about a lot lately. I'm not exactly one for taking a lot of risks, and I'm really trying to break out of that. For example, today in the car I suggested to Emily and Laura that we pray for the summer and what God's going to do. They got pretty awesomely uncomfortable—since we never do stuff like that—but they thought it was a good idea, so we did! Might sound like a small thing, but it meant a lot to me.
Then, naturally, an awesome guy named Bobby (mostly awesome by reputation, so far) felt burdened to speak to us briefly about the importance of being really here while we're here. He told us that God didn't call us to do anything this summer but be here, and I think that's so important for me to remember. I miss everyone in Ann Arbor, GR, anywhere you guys are...but God wanted me to be here for a reason. It's something I'd been thinking about already with regards to some stuff, and this was a great reminder.
Once again, let me know how you guys are doing...and tell me what you need prayer for! I'm not kidding about that, yo.
Catch you later.
The Last Leg and Arrival
We had a pretty interesting day in the car today, but not in any of the truly terrible ways. Left the Casa de Borton around 6 AM fake time and faced some pretty intense rain driving through Des Moines on our way south. Even with the windshield wipers going full speed, visibility was pretty low. Thankfully, we got out of that safely and made our way south out of Iowa and then along the Missouri side of that state's border with Kansas with a good rainfall chasing us the whole way.
We stopped for gas and coffee in a little town in Missouri called Peculiar, which was awesome. That's why I wanted to stop there. I switched out driving with my sister there, and as she was getting back onto the road back to I-35, a truck honked at us. The guy pulls up alongside us, and I'm thinking, Ah, great. We're going to get yelled at by someone. He rolls down the window and shouts, “Where in Michigan are you guys from!?” Turns out he was a Lansing man, born and raised. Awesome.
Finally got down into Oklahoma, and it's...really not what I expected, at least not at the camp itself. Lots of trees, lakes...it's pretty good stuff. I have to go to dinner soon (I'm writing this at 4:45 PM fake time), but hopefully I can update this again before I go to bed.
See you!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Giving Iowa a Try
Jotting down a quick post from Des Moines, where my good friends James and Katie Borton have graciously put us up for the night. Meant to leave at 10 this morning, but a few separate incidents set us back a couple hours. That was a frustrating time--tense time in the car, too--but things improved and it was smooth sailing after that. I made good on my desire to have some more serious conversation time, and we had some good talks about our family and things we're dealing with. That wasn't always perfectly pleasant, but definitely a blessing; I'm excited for how God's going to work this summer with me and my sisters.
We also got a chance to sing together a bit, which is something I'd definitely been looking forward to. We're a pretty musical family, but we don't get a lot of chances to be musical together. So we chose a few songs and practiced them. It sounded pretty good, if I don't say so myself, and I might just see fit to post that at some point. :)
Got to the Casa de Borton around 8:30 local time and had some delicious food cooked by our excellent hostess, and consumed it while watching recent episodes of Big Bang Theory, Glee, and (of course) Mythbusters. They rammed two cars together, and it was good.
Hopefully I'll get a video up tomorrow, in addition to easier-to-access print. Until then, dear readers!
We also got a chance to sing together a bit, which is something I'd definitely been looking forward to. We're a pretty musical family, but we don't get a lot of chances to be musical together. So we chose a few songs and practiced them. It sounded pretty good, if I don't say so myself, and I might just see fit to post that at some point. :)
Got to the Casa de Borton around 8:30 local time and had some delicious food cooked by our excellent hostess, and consumed it while watching recent episodes of Big Bang Theory, Glee, and (of course) Mythbusters. They rammed two cars together, and it was good.
Hopefully I'll get a video up tomorrow, in addition to easier-to-access print. Until then, dear readers!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Last Update Before Leaving
I recorded a video for this, but I didn't like it. So it's a written one today. I'm not sure that I myself would watch a video blog all that much--maybe once a week, so I don't forget what the person looks like--but with written content you can access it whenever you want! So I may end up writing on here more than uploading videos. We'll see. I DO like my webcam, though...and I might still post that video...
Anyway, it's flipping 80-some degrees in Welling, OK, and the humidity is around 50%. That, dear readers, is un-awesome. I seemed to hear something about a tornado touching down near-ish Ann Arbor, though, so maybe things could be worse. Anyway, I purchased my first-ever pairs both of sandals and flip-flops (ow....), as well as a new pair of sunglasses and some shorts, so I'm prepared a bit better than I was before. Yikes.
I have a long car ride ahead of me with Emily and Laura, and it's going to be important for me to see that as an opportunity. Usually, the only time we're serious with each other is if we're also upset with each other, so I'm definitely going to try to initiate some more serious conversations, especially about kingdom stuff and just stuff I'm going through. I feel that we often, in our family, try to give the impression of being in control of everything rather than ever admit something is wrong. It's a tradition that's tough to break out of, but it's worth the effort.
Prayer requests:
Oh, and, here's the short video, that has some extra details about our trip down and other unnecessary things I apparently felt strongly about sharing with everyone. Enjoy! (Pronounced "en-JWAH." I insist on this.)
Anyway, it's flipping 80-some degrees in Welling, OK, and the humidity is around 50%. That, dear readers, is un-awesome. I seemed to hear something about a tornado touching down near-ish Ann Arbor, though, so maybe things could be worse. Anyway, I purchased my first-ever pairs both of sandals and flip-flops (ow....), as well as a new pair of sunglasses and some shorts, so I'm prepared a bit better than I was before. Yikes.
I have a long car ride ahead of me with Emily and Laura, and it's going to be important for me to see that as an opportunity. Usually, the only time we're serious with each other is if we're also upset with each other, so I'm definitely going to try to initiate some more serious conversations, especially about kingdom stuff and just stuff I'm going through. I feel that we often, in our family, try to give the impression of being in control of everything rather than ever admit something is wrong. It's a tradition that's tough to break out of, but it's worth the effort.
Prayer requests:
- Safety on the car ride down to Oklahoma.
- Productive conversations with my sisters.
- Increased faith that God will use this summer, both to grow me and to build His kingdom.
Oh, and, here's the short video, that has some extra details about our trip down and other unnecessary things I apparently felt strongly about sharing with everyone. Enjoy! (Pronounced "en-JWAH." I insist on this.)
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Title of Blog
In case you, dear readers, were wondering: the title of this blog comes from the second most famous (I think) poem by Robert Frost, "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening." Here it is in full:
I love this poem, both for its imagery and because I, too, feel like I'd found a nice place to stop but couldn't. (Does anyone know of any good poems about focusing on where you're at, rather than looking ahead to the future? Because that's another issue right now, but you don't find much poetry about that kind of thing.)
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
I love this poem, both for its imagery and because I, too, feel like I'd found a nice place to stop but couldn't. (Does anyone know of any good poems about focusing on where you're at, rather than looking ahead to the future? Because that's another issue right now, but you don't find much poetry about that kind of thing.)
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