Settling or Stretching

Okay, time to restart this blog. Seriously this time. Maybe.

Today was the first day of the new semester, but I didn't have anything, so I was at home the whole time. Cleaned up the room, got myself organized a bit, cleaned out the inbox. Those things were nice to get out of the way.

But there are still two things really nagging at me. First, there's so much I don't know about this semester still. I've never done discussion sections before, so I have to figure out how to do this twice a week. Each week I'm required to do six hours of classroom observation at a high school or middle school, but I haven't been told yet what my hours for that are or where I'll be doing them. That means I can't put a definitive time on my office hours for the sections I'm leading or on my office hours for being this semester's grad student mentor for elementary Latin GSIs. I don't even know where my office hours will be. So there's a lot about my schedule that I don't know.

Second, I have a lot of long-term decisions and transitions to make, and just generally things on the horizon. I still have to take the MTTC in economics, which makes me nervous because I haven't taken an econ course in a few years now. I have to take the Latin translation exam, about which I'm less nervous...but there are still a few gaping holes in my Latin reading experience that I need to fill. I'll be student teaching in the Winter, and that's new and a little nerve-wracking. And then, of course, I'll cease to be a student (probably) forever on May 1, 2011. Two hundred thirty-six days away. Most people seem to be glad to have school over with for good, but it's something I'm used to and I've always been good at.

I really enjoy my security--knowing what's coming, when, and how to handle it. My modus operandi has usually been to pursue what is comfortable and familiar, and not stray too far from that. But more and more I'm coming to realize what a big area of my life I'm holding back from God. When I'm not submitting that stuff to Him, I can't even see the ways that I'm losing out on serving Him. God's been really exposing that in my life, and even though I think I'm in for a terrifying ride this year, it's great to know that God won't let me settle for less than His best.